Party Like it’s 1959…
I awoke this morning to the bemused confusion of the women in my social circle, after the BBC published a piece on traditional wives, or #tradwives, as they like to be called. These women congregate in groups and forums, where they proudly profess to be ‘feminine, not feminist.’ And if it seems like this is a fringe minority, that page has 51,000 followers. Yikes.
In this particular segment, ‘Alena’ tells us all about her life, in which she submits entirely to her husband. She is responsible for the housework and child-rearing, she tells us, but the prevailing theme is one of a desire to return to an age of innocence. She speaks nostalgically about a bygone era, where community was strong and safety was expected. I hate to be that person, but this version of history, viewed through rose-tinted glasses… it didn’t ever exist.
Domestic violence accounts for 16% of all reported crime, but the first attempt to legislate against it wasn’t until 1976 — and it doesn’t stop there. Marital rape wasn’t even legally recognised in the UK until 1991, and even then only by legal precedent. It wasn’t until 2003 that marital rape was properly legislated against. Considering that approximately 85,000 women experience rape or sexual assault in England and Wales, and that approximately 90% of women are most likely to be raped by someone they know and trust, it’s not a stretch to imagine that a huge amount of those rapes are committed by their male partners.
It wasn’t until 1964 that women were permitted to keep half of the savings accrued from allowances given to them by their husbands. Keep in mind that these women were not encouraged, and were in fact actively discouraged from working once married. If Alena wanted to leave her husband in 1959, I would love to know how she imagines she would have achieved that.
In 1967, women won the right to abortion. Considering natural family planning was the primary means through which pregnancy was prevented, it’s easy to understand how women amassed such large families. However, juxtapose that against the likelihood of marital rape, when there wasn’t legislation in place to prevent it. In fact, the only legislation remotely discussing non-consensual sex argued that marriage constituted irrevocable consent. In the same year, the contraceptive pill became available through family planning clinics.
As late as 1970, working women were still being denied sole ownership of their homes, and couldn’t secure a mortgage without a male guarantor.
Domestic violence refuges weren’t really a thing until 1974. Without money, or refuge, or the ability to buy her own house, or legislation recognising the violence committed against her, Alena would’ve been in a bit of a pickle if her husband had taken advantage of her willing subservience. Women and children weren’t even entitled to state-provided temporary accommodation until 1977.
Yes, I’m sure Alena loves ironing her doilies and taking care of her home, but how many women would really have had the time to write a book in 1959? Assuming they’d been allowed to, they certainly wouldn’t have been regarded as anything but career women in doing so. In 1959, central heating was still very much an idea. Homes were heated by coal fires, which the wives were required to keep lit throughout the day. Freezers were scarce, so fresh items were stored in a larder; food was cooked and preserved for longer storage, and anything that couldn’t be preserved was bought daily.
Clothes were primarily made by hand, and if not made by the mother, then certainly repaired by her. If she was lucky enough to own a washing machine (and many, many women were not) it was a twin-tub with a mangle attached to the top. No throwing things into the drum and attending to other tasks! My own grandmother was still using a washboard until the mid sixties. And, of course, she would be required to look after her children.
I wonder when Alena finds the time to write books and preach her sermons to the cult following she’s developed? A friend of mine remarked this morning about the irony of a woman utilising a world-wide platform to instruct women to stay home and be quiet. Yes, indeed.
On a final but pertinent note, it is important to acknowledge that what Alena endorses is a lifestyle that remains not to be a choice for millions of women across the world. While these women identify with femininity and reject feminism entirely, one has to wonder who exactly they imagine made their lives safe enough to make this choice in the first place?
Alena can party like it’s 1959 if she wants to, but she must remember that it is 1959 lite. She is privileged beyond her wildest imaginings, and we still have a long way to go.
Women pick up their placards so she can pick up her pinny.
It would be nice if she remembered that.
